How to make big changes without it feeling like a grind
to you
Have you ever been all-in on a meaningful goal, but let go, and then reprimanded yourself for not seeing it through?
It happens to all of us. And it’s easy to blame yourself for having poor motivation or willpower. But that’s rarely the problem. (If it were, you’d never have started.)
What’s much more effective is having a repeatable approach that relies more on process than grit.
Here’s an example of what happens when you don’t have that.
When I finished the basement in my first house, I did it without help, and in a short time span of just a few months.
It was a tremendous amount of work for one person – framing, electrical, sheetrock, lighting, flooring, ceiling tile, and painting. For most of these jobs, simply figuring out what to do and getting the supplies was a project in itself.
But instead of being deliberate and methodical, I just wanted to get it done as soon as possible.
And I did get it done. But by the end, I was banged up and exhausted. At that point, there was zero chance I’d do another project like this anytime soon.
What I did is the equivalent of diving headfirst into a major diet overhaul or elaborate fitness program without much planning or restraint.
Motivation got me started, willpower got me through to the end, but it wasn’t sustainable. If I were a handyman, I’d be in big trouble, because there’s no way I’d be able to continue what I was doing.
Someone who does this kind of work for a living needs a balanced, repeatable way to keep it sustainable.
Optimizing your health, wellness, and quality of life through lifestyle habits is no different. You can’t go hard for just a few months and expect to ride off into the sunset. It needs to be a way of life, something you can comfortably sustain long-term.
That starts with a strong why and a realistic (i.e., manageable) plan, as I mentioned last week. But it’s not motivation or willpower that turns the plan into your desired outcome.
It’s controlled progress.
By “controlled,” I mean repeatable and adjustable: you know exactly what you’re changing, you’re aware of whether or not it’s too much (or not enough), and you adjust accordingly instead of trying to grind your way through it.
Instead of breaking your back to finish a basement in just a few months, it’s dividing the project into smaller tasks and chipping away at each task in a manageable way.
For health and wellness, you’re ultimately looking to turn tasks into habits. Once you do, they’ll feel more automatic, and you won’t need as much motivation or willpower to keep them going.
And this is when you’re ready for the next change. It’s like stacking one brick at a time until you have a foundation that can support a house. Except it’s a foundation of habits that’s supporting your health, wellness, and quality of life.
It’s how one small dietary change after another can eventually lead to an overall eating pattern that helps you feel healthier and more energized without it seeming like a lot of work.
It’s how doing just 10-15 minutes of exercise a few times per week, and purposefully but gradually adding to it, can lead to a complete exercise routine that makes you more fit and physically resilient, but would’ve crushed you when you first started.
Once you have that foundation, you have many habits pushing you in the right direction without it feeling like much effort. You have momentum.
But building that foundation isn’t just about slow and steady. It’s slow, steady, and smart.
That starts with knowing which changes are most important for your desired outcome.
Then, when you break those changes down into manageable chunks, they need to be approached in a progressive sequence in which each change builds on the previous one.
Without this type of progression, you have seemingly random changes pulling you in different directions, depleting your motivation and willpower in the process.
For example, while transitioning to a healthier diet, an important goal is to replace processed foods with whole foods (gradually). Shifting your focus to eating organic (but still processed) could be helpful, but it’s not the priority for this objective.
Likewise, while working towards a well-rounded exercise routine to improve health and physical resilience, each new exercise or activity that’s added needs to support this goal. Adding something new just because it’s fun may keep you moving, but it may not move you closer to your desired outcome.
If you can’t explain how your actions should move you meaningfully closer to your desired outcome, you might be investing valuable time and energy in the wrong places.
And if that’s the case, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Getting this part right saves time and frustration.
This is what good coaching is all about – a practical process focused on what matters most.
Of course, it’s also about encouragement, support, and accountability, but the underlying process is what makes these effective.
To big changes, one smart step at a time,
Dr. Vin
If you’d like one-on-one guidance building sustainable habits, driven by purposeful process, schedule a free call with Coach Kayla to find out if our coaching is a good fit for you.
No pressure to commit – just an honest conversation about your situation, our coaching process, and how well the two match.